It's Going To Be Alright, Kristen Stewart

New Moon Drinking Game

nataleigh:

For those of you going to see the illustrious second installment of the Twilight series, New Moon, I would like to enhance your viewing pleasure by presenting what I call the New Moon Drinking Game.

To play:

1.  Bring a large purse or manbag into the theater.  Inside said bags, stow a salt shaker, 10 or 11 lemons (cut into eight pieces) a few bottles of Patrón, and depending upon how many people are with you, some shotglasses.

2.  Through the 12 minutes of previews, prepare your area to be easily accessible.  You will have to be prepared to take a few shots back to back, so it’s necessary that you are well organized.

3.  Begin watching the film.  As soon as you see Edward, set up your shot, lemon, and salt, as your first drink is soon nigh.

4.  Take your shot anytime:

A) Edward has a line so mopey even Metro Station fans want to slice vertical.

OR

B) Rpattz’s ever existing face of ~anguish~ makes an appearance.  Make it a double if a noise of anguish accompanies aforementioned expression. (please note, this requires some serious shot pounding in certain scenes.  prepare your liver well.)

If done properly, you should be on the floor in the first ten minutes.  Enjoy!

'New Moon' Crushes Most American's Hopes of Calling Themselves "Film Buffs"

mcdavis:

kstewrelax:

It’s going to be alright, Kristen. Someone thinks you’re not mediocre!

(That someone is not either of us.)

I was just not lumping her in as an actress.

This is because you haven’t seen Twilight…yet. ;)

'New Moon' Crushes Most American's Hopes of Calling Themselves "Film Buffs"

mcdavis:

ohnopleasedont:

Claiming the record for the biggest one-day gross, The Twilight Saga: New Moon raked in an estimated $72.7 million on approximately 8,500 screens at 4,024 sites. The Dark Knight was the previous title holder with $67.2 million on around 9,300 screens at 4,366 sites.

Who would have thought that a movie about glittery vampires would end up in the record books?  I don’t know whether we should be more disappointed in ourselves for bombarding the theaters to see this or for simultaneously fawning over a 17 year old boy who remains shirtless 90% of the time.  It’s not even that bad that the incessant moaning from teenyboppers was enough to deafen people worse than a typical rock concert but did we really just make theater teams for characters in the film?

Thanks to this, we now have to live with the fact that a cast of mediocre actors and Kristen Stewart go down on paper for quite some time.  Considering it has taken over a year to knock The Dark Knight off the block (which was critically praised and considered one of last year’s top films) and looking at the fact it took quite a few years for Titanic (which set its record between 1997-98) to be taken over by The Dark Knight, I’m pretty scared for the next few years.

In closing, we never thought a film starring a terrible lip biter, that guy who died in Harry Potter and an actor who shares Matthew McConaughey’s feelings on wearing a shirt in films would be where it is now.  Shame on you America.  Shame on you.

At least we have the weekend to turn this around.

___
by Mike Davis

(quote via boxofficemojo)

It’s going to be alright, Kristen. Someone thinks you’re not mediocre!

(That someone is not either of us.)

newmoonshine:

So, all of her friends are vampires too? But if she cuts herself just a bit, they try to bite her? Maybe that’s why Bella scowls so much.

This is an interesting theory.

[Clay Larsen has been dared to see Twilight: New Moon alone, on opening night, and live blog it.

Details:
-My ticket is being paid for.
-I didn’t see the first Twilight.
-I will be drinking copious amounts of whiskey
-I have to applaud at the end, no matter what.  ]

GOD I HOPE A NEW MOON TORRENT COMES OUT SOON

mcdavis:

Can’t wait.

So do we.